What A Trump Administration Might Look Like

Please Note: The following is a work of political fiction. Like most good fiction there is an element of truth in it or it wouldn’t be believable. I’m not exactly on the Trump campaign’s speed dial so everything here is a guess. It was written in late August to accommodate my traveling so in a Hail Marry move Trump may have already announced some senior level appointments he would make by the time you read this. Enjoy!

Attorney General: Chris Christie. No doubt the New Jersey Governor would love the gig. It would be the most certain way to avoid federal prosecution. The chances of getting him confirmed are less than promising. If elected I expect Trump to find a place for Christie in a position that does not require Senate confirmation if necessary.

Interior Secretary: Cliven Bundy. Trump is a big city boy and knows little of the West’s issues. Bundy has been stealing from the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) for decades and has become a radical right wing hero in the process. This would be one of many fox in charge of the hen house scenarios.

Labor Secretary: Scott Walker. Who do the unions hate more than the Wisconsin Governor? Trump has a long record of being anti-union. Walker could be a possible rival in 2020 and he is far from a shoe-in for reelection in Wisconsin. There are a lot of wins for The Donald in this deal.

Energy Secretary: Sarah Palin. Drill, baby, drill. Palin is certainly dimwitted enough to keep Trump happy but he had better watch out that she would be as disloyal to him as she was to John McCain who put her on the political map.      

EPA Director: Don Blankenship. Nobody can say if he will be in jail or not in January of 2017 but Trump can fix that with a Presidential pardon. Who better to be a friend of the greedy, anti-government, non-science believing Republican financiers than the former CEO of the former Massey Energy?

Commerce Secretary: Ivanka Trump. Inside a Trump Oval Office who would be better prepared to steer the nation’s business interests than his favorite daughter? She already has experience in stealing fashion designs from competitors and suing people who say bad things about her. Besides she would be sure to keep the family’s interests in mind in any business deals.

Defense Secretary: Wayne LaPierre. To use his own words the NRA chief is the ultimate “Good guy with a gun.” Trump doesn’t need much help when it comes to the military; he learned it all in high school.

Health and Human Services Secretary: Dr. Ben Carson: Carson can be a civil rights hero (in his mind) by disassembling Obamacare which he said was, “The worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. And in a way it is slavery.” Who better to implement the Republicans’ YOYO (You’re on your own), health care plan?

Treasury Secretary: Jared Kushner. Kushner is Trump’s son-in-law. Keep the money in the family.

Press Secretary: Cory Lewandowski. Why not bring back a guy who has shown such respect for the press (sic); especially the females in the press corp. Plus a job when the CNN gig runs out might be a good way to keep that tell all book from coming out.

Ambassador to Russia: Paul Manafort. Manafort already has a lot of friends in Russia apparently including Vladimir Putin and/or people very close to him. They can all sit around on a cold Moscow night drinking vodka and talking about Ukraine. Ditto on the book deal thing.  

Homeland Security Secretary: Rudy Giuliani. The guy who’s every utterance in 2008 was accurately described as a noun, a verb and 9/11. He is certain to keep us safe. Not! His loyalty to Trump is unquestionable; his introductions of Trump include a total lack of recall of 9/11. Anyone that willfully suspends belief in reality in order to make The Donald look good deserves a big job in a Trump administration in the Donald Dome.

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