Trump Opportunities

This is the time of year that business gurus often do a column on what will be the hot investment opportunities of the New Year. I’m doing something along those lines with political business opportunities under a Trump administration. I don’t think it will do my readers much good since the number one requirement, other than capital to invest, is being amoral (which will put align you with Trump and his team).

The low investment opportunity is right wing memorabilia. The radical right is feeling energized after the Trump win. They feel largely responsible for it. A case can be made supporting their claim considering the small margins by which he won several Great Lakes states that flipped the election in the Electoral College. You can buy a bunch of swastikas, rebel flags and the like; set up a tent or table at some right wing gathering or a gun show (is there really any difference?) and simply deal in cash. No names. No records for that hated government.

If you are more of the investor than the hands on type I’d suggest looking at for-profit schools. Remember Trump is the guy who ran the scam also known as Trump University. While the Obama administration was going after scam schools that simple took people’s money (often in the form of GI benefits) and gave them an unmarketable “education” in return; it is safe to assume that Team Trump will do nothing of the sort. Don’t expect the Department of Education to step in. It will be run by Betsy DeVos whose family derived its wealth from Amway (viewed by many to be America’s most successful scam).

Another avenue for profit via education is investing in a charter school management / home schooling supply company. With DeVos’ hatred for public education along with so many states being controlled by right wing Republican legislatures and governors more and more tax dollars will be siphoned away from traditional public schools. Don’t worry about performance; you can simply play the musical chairs game of moving from state to state and staying one step ahead of the law (which DeVos won’t enforce anyway). When the music stops you can always reincorporate under another name and the scam goes on as long as the “cops” (in this case Trump and DeVos) look the other way.

If you want a small piece of a really big industry I have two suggestions: armaments and fossil fuels. Trump has made a lot of noise about bulking up the military including increasing the number of nuclear weapons. Those armaments have to be manufactured and since they are unique products that only a limited few are capable of manufacturing they are not cheap. The biggest risk is that Trump actually gets angry with somebody at 3am and sends a nuclear missile instead of a tweet. I guess it really doesn’t matter because if he does there is an outstanding chance we will all be dead so who cares about wealth at that point?

Fossil fuel people and their puppets are all over the place in the emerging Trump administration including retiring ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State. If anyone thinks the favorable tax treatment the industry enjoys is going away they need to be drug tested. Does anyone really expect Rick Perry at Energy or Scott Pruitt at the EPA to enforce any regulations making it more difficult to drill, frack and pollute?

Yes, there is money to be made in Donald Trump’s new America; you just might have to grow a beard because looking in the mirror will become increasingly difficult. Head attire becomes interesting if you choose the small entrepreneur route. There are those slick looking three cornered hats, a Nazi helmet can give you added safety, for summer comfort there are always those cute Johnnie Reb grey caps. Then of course there is the classic Make America Great Again one size fits all cap which comes in three colors, red, white or blue. If you really want to fit in with your customers I suggest you wear one with the brim in the back; then the world can look at your ass while you prove that you are one.

Note: Due to a change in my personal schedule all of this week’s articles have been written well ahead of publishing.

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