The other day I was walking one of the dogs in the family when I had some sad thoughts. Perhaps I was influenced by having recently watched the movie The Art of Racing in the Rain. The movie is based on Garth Stern’s 2008 book of the same name which I read years ago. The book is written in first person dog. The dog in question is the hero of the book and movie, Enzo. Dogs, religion and politics come together in today’s tale. Let’s explore.
I once had a chocolate lab named Buddy and no dog will ever replace him in my mind. After his death a “granddog” named Sam somewhat took his place. I often took Sam for walks. Sam left us not too long ago. Sam was replaced by Piper. I occasionally go over to Piper’s house and take her for a walk following the same route that I did with Sam.
At any rate, during our walk earlier this week I thought that I wished I believed in Heaven because in that perfect place I would be reunited with Buddy and Sam. Alas, as an agnostic questioning the existence of Heaven is as close as I can rationally come to belief; so much for the conversation with the shoulder with the angel on it.
On the other shoulder sat the bad angel. I started to think that if Heaven exists then Hell must also exist. If there is a sure fire candidate for eternity in Hell on the current political landscape it is Donald Trump! We often talk in terms of a special place in Hell for really bad people who have hurt a lot of others during their journey on earth. Trump certainly qualifies!
Knowing Trump’s ego he would want a Tower with a name on it. So by extension of that logic the final Trump Tower would be built in Hell. It would have to be big enough to house all his enablers because they share in his guilt. It’s kind of like the old joke that you will be so busy shaking hands with all your friends in Hell.
Following along with that thought there are two issues: Donald Trump never personally does any real work and the tower would have to be finished prior to his arrival in Hell. That is easily resolved in my scenario. Satan will build the tower in advance of Trump and company’s arrival and of course Trump will stiff Satan on the bill.
Aside from the fact that Hell is almost certainly fiction there is another problem. Can bedbugs survive in the heat of Hell? Oh, I forgot, I’m confusing a Trump resort with a Trump Tower.
I’d love to have Buddy and Sam again; the thought of Trump in Hell almost makes it all worth believing in. I can understand why so many people do believe.
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Heaven is the peace of mind with which we end our lives. I’m reminded of a line from Paul Simon: “Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you”. I revel in my memories every day. And I smoke a turd in purgatory for all my faults. OK…end of sermon. Pass the collection plate.